My journey in life has not been smooth escalator ride to the top, but rather a rocky hillside. I have made mistakes in the past, and had people judge me by my shortcomings.
Instead of helping me get back on my feet during setbacks, my family perceives my lapses as complete failure regardless if I fail through my own fault or because of the circumstances I am in. They turned their backs on me, leaving me to
wallow alone in misery, woundedness and self-pity. The very unit that I expect to exude feelings of warmth,
happiness and safety,
is the very same one that only brings up punitive pain and trauma in my life. They were my constant tormentors.
Elders will not take responsibility for their own actions. They toss the blame on the young ones and will never admit they did anything wrong.
I was often forced to apologize for
something which is far from the truth.
The constant humiliation and
emotional beat ups I received from them have often hindered me from
trying anything new that brings joy in life.
Later, I realized that these individuals may have written me off but they don’t have the final say. I will not let failure define me. I have learned to go through life without letting other people put their names on me. They may name me
mediocre, irrelevant with too many mistakes, but God names me exceptional, forgiven, redeemed, and restored.
Religion helps me endure these hardships. My belief in a caring God encourages me to face problems and deal with setbacks. It helps me deal with the most painful moments of my life and gives me hope to keep on moving on, because I believe that
God's Grace will always be sufficient to sail me through.
With God, my best days are still ahead of me.
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